Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
