it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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