"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
