I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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