so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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