You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
