If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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