All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
