HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
