Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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