Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
