So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
