you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
