I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
