Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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