Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
