I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize