I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
