tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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