So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
