and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
