susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
