marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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