You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
