she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
