I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
