Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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