I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
