have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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