i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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