i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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