I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Oh god it's open bar.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
