bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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