lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
