toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize