Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize