Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
