She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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