He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
