I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Randomize
