I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I AM VODKA MAN
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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