Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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