I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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