Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
