So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
