i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
