so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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