I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
