Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if only i could text you this smell
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
