The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
