we were pretty classy up until the second keg
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
