just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize