remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
