"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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